Thursday, June 17, 2010

big sigh...

I have not been very active on here lately, but I have been very active in my regular life (like this is something extra, not part of my regular life or something). WHAT-EV!

I'm so crazy busy right now. I feel like this is temporary but exactly HOW temporary I'm not quite sure. I feel as if I am always in this state of "what now". Like I am always moving and can never quite get established in anything. All my jobs are like 6-8 months and then I move. Target was the longest job I've had to date (not counting WTBF that I had in high school/college for 3.5 years)... but Target sucked. Okay, part of it was okay, it wasn't a horrid job; infact I actually liked what I did as a GSA, but it wasn't very fulfilling and it was very stressful. I'm still stressed but it's a different kind and I don't hate going to work everyday. I don't have to pump myself up with a Monster in order to get ready. I can relax, chill, write a letter to my relative or friend or read a magazine or even come to the library and blog! :)

But the job I have now is still not a career. It doesn't pay very well and I still have to answer to someone who doesn't seem to be keeping up with the times. I still feel like I'm doing more than everybody else and that it doesn't matter because the managers just expects the ordinary. I have co-workers that outrightly disrespect the managers and they're still working here. Probably because they need the people and don't have a good enough reason to fire him.

When I "complained" to my supervisor about how I was frustrated with the other counselors not doing their part she told me "ciara, you know you go out of your way and do extra right?" ... I thought I was just doing my job.

So basically this is just me whining.

I've been listening to Seth Godin's "Small is the New Big" on playaway. (by the way, these playaways are great, even though the quality is a little bit lacking. I highly recommend them).

When I started Seth's book I was a little wary. I wasn't sure what it would do for me. It's supposed to light a fire under you to get going on that idea you've been working on. At first I was skeptical but I gotta tell you, I've been listening to it and it's been really great. It's chapters are short (some only a paragraph) but they each offer something. The really great part about it is that it's incredibly creative. He takes ideas like catching a plane and turns it into something else; something that YOU coud possibly use for your next big idea.

Maybe you don't have a big idea, or a business idea... regardless, there are some great ideas in this book that will make you think.

I've been listening to some great books lately and I keep coming back to the idea that I need to own my own business. Working for someone else is great because you don't have to do all the thinking it takes to run a business. You don't have to take responsibility. So I think I will always be working for someone else, but in short spurts. Eventually I would like to run my own calligraphy business and work for other people on the side.

But right now I'm just kindof stuck trying to figure out if I want to move or not.

So that's my rant. Am I always ranting about something? I hope soon I will have some great news. In fact, the fact that this idea is festering inside my head right now is good news. I've been practicing calligraphy and my brain is just always on the prowl for new possibilities. So that in itself is a good thing.

Friday, May 14, 2010

review your credit report!


I just printed my credit reports! You can get a free report once a year. Go to AnnualCreditReport.com and you can get 3 free reports. One from Experian, one from TransUnion and one from Equifax.

You should do it once a year to make sure there are no errors cuz that can really screw up your credit.

Pay your bills on time! That can really screw up your credit more than you know.

I am working on organizing all my files and bills; putting them in the correct folders, opening them up as soon as I get them and checking for errors. Fun stuff. Seriously. It makes my world go round :)
But really, it does put me more at ease. You can do it too!

Okay my little sermon is over. My mother would be so proud!

Friday, April 16, 2010

dog adoption and druggie parents

I need to stop looking at the Craigslist pets section. I miss my doggies dearly and I think the only thing that will cure it is another doggie. But I can't adopt a doggy right now. I can't afford to keep it couped up in my apartment all day while I'm working. Maybe when I move to the farm ehh? But the farm is already loaded with doggies. Maybe they will ease my burden. A little wet dog nose always does the trick (or in my case Cleo's rank breath!) she really does have the worst!

So I was just googling blogs and looking into adoption sites and I came accross this blog. This girl tells her story of trying to adopt a rottweiler. It's kindof crazy. It boggles my mind how easy it is to bring a life into this world; a mother and father that have no business raising a child but yet they can bring this wonderful little baby into the world and then completely screw it up and when the state wants to take it away it's a huge battle. Adopting a dog is harder than creating a human being! And we all know dogs don't pay taxes or collect wellfare or social security. And dogs don't rob banks or sell drugs or kill people. And if they do kill people, it was probably the pet of the child who was brought into this world through druggie parents and got this dog so he could use it to fight other dogs to get money to pay for his drug habit that he got in his mother's womb. UGH!!!

Can you TELL that this rubs me the wrong way!?

I really gotta figure out some stress management! haha. j/k. Although my stress level is probably pretty high I've always been good at managing it. But I really am getting tired of some of these foster parents who don't answer their phone calls. You would THINK that a FOSTER parent is responsible right!? They are the temporary PARENT of the child who's real parents can't care for them... so they must be responsible right!?

wrong.

They don't return phonecalls. I'll tell you that much.
Okay, to be fair it's not everybody. There are some fabulous foster parents out there, but they are NOT the norm.

But that's another post for another time. I'm already cooking it up.

Later y'all!

Thursday, April 1, 2010

April Fools!

I've posted my goals for April. check it out!

I'd love to post more but I gotta get my butt to work!

Friday, March 26, 2010

what happened to the hot water!?


Why oh Why do I live with children. The hot water in the shower is on and won't turn off, so I turned the hot water off. This is the second time we've had this problem. I am the only adult in the house. I'm the only one that calls the office when there are problems with the apartment, like the hot water. They just let it run for days and days like it's no big thing. No worries! we all have billions of dollars to spend on hot water wastage. So I turn the hot water off and they get all freaked out. WHAT HAPPENED TO THE HOT WATER!? IT'S BROKEN!! CALL CIARA!

And then I get the text, "Ciara did you do something to the hot water?!" yes stupid, I turned it off so that we don't spend an extra $50 on the water bill because we let it run nonstop 24/7 for 7 days straight. Okay so that's not what I said verbatim, but whatever.

Thank you for letting me unload this on you. Sometimes I feel like I just need to let the world know that people like this do exist. Not just in movies and books.

They exist! Be careful out there people!


By the way... I'm onto a new book on tape. It's called "The Gargoyle" by Andrew Davidson. It's quite good. There are a few things that may be uncomfortable to read; like for example the main character's previous line of work was in pornography and he talks a bit graphically about it here and there. It's about this guy (also a drug addict and alcoholic) who gets in a car accident and is burned all over his body. While he is in the hospital recovering in the burn ward this woman appears and claims that they were lovers in medieval Germany. Of course he thinks she's crazy.


It's about their relationship, past and present. It's quite good because the story is told both in his voice, but also in the voice of the woman (Marriane Engel) when she tells him stories of her past. I am liking it a lot. It's capturing. He's kindof a womanizer but ends up falling for this woman.


I like the way he writes. He weaves things together without pointing everything out to you. You just kindof start to realize how things relate in his present life and his past life. Here's the link to my shelfari page where I have it posted on my shelf as "currently reading". You can check it out there along with a lot of other amazing books.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

don't you love the library?!


Oh how I love a good book on tape. And the Library! Oh what a wonderful thing a library is. I just finished The Strangler by William Landay. A wonderful murder myster, set in Boston in the early 60's.

It's about this family; one's a police officer (a bit crooked), a lawyer (a bit crooked) and a theif (hmmm, just a touch crooked) and all the stuff that they go through with the gangsters in the city, building the new boston, crooked cops, gambling, the family dynamics... and it's also about the stranger; I think it's loosely based on The Zodiac. Or at least they take some from it; the feel of it. It's quite good. And the guy who reads it does a great job of mastering the Boston accents and everything. Anyways, it's a good book. . . but there are some sensitive scenes in it that make you a little squirmy. It is a murder mystery after all.

So I gotta go turn it back into the library today and get another. William Landay has another, Mission Flats. I might see if they have it and if it looks good. I drive around so much in my two jobs that it just helps to have something to listen to. I highly recommend books on tape.
soooooo...... what have I been doing lately? same old same old. I just work work work. I'm trying to figure out when to tell my boss that i'm moving to Alabama in October. I just don't want to tell her. I think they like me here so that's kindof a bummer. I think I could really work my way up here. But I just can't afford an apartment by myself out here. I do like the city though, even though there's a lot of driving. There are a lot more oportunities. I think it's gonna be hard to find a job when I move back to Troy. Ugh. Not looking forward to that at all.

I'm feeling the pull to get back into learning the art of calligraphy. I got some books from the library and i'm gonna get back to practicing. I stopped because I felt like I wasn't doing it right. I wanted to take lessons and have someone really teach me. I didn't want to form bad habbits. But I couldn't find anything, even out here! There's one that's in Washington but it's just too far and I don't have the time to drive all the way out there. And they're more about appreciating the "real calligraphy" and not so much teaching newbies how to begin. I think it's more for the professionals.

Anyways... I've been convinced that it's not such a big deal. I just need to practice practice practice til I make perfect. So that's what I'm going to do.
I found this website today... if you like Shelfari you'll like this one too.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

my real blog

You may be disappointed to hear this but I do not consider this a "real" blog. It's just a diary type thingy...

My mother recently directed me to this website. It's for the person in search of a career, or maybe someone who is trying to market him or herself; trying to look good to the person who's doing the hiring. As we all know, it's hard to find a job. Supposedly writing helps you "find yourself" and supposedly if you're in the process of finding yourself maybe you find a job along the way. As you probably know I've always been a writer so blogging isn't such a hard concept for me to accept. My brother on the other had has a hard time accepting blogging as anything more than, well, stupid... possibly narcissistic?

The girl who runs that website has her own blog. Basically, this website that is her "business" is a networking type of thing where you can connect with people like you and get ideas for your career field. So anyways, it may sound all far fetched that blogging can actually help you find a job, but I don't have a problem with honeing my writing skills. Maybe some strangers will even read my blog.

So anyways, I'm keeping this blog because I like to write about "stupid stuff"... the stuff that goes on in my life, like how I just drove 14 hours to Troy Alabama to see my family and introduce them to my boyfriend :) Sometimes I just like to rant about my roommates and post pictures of snow and animals and whatnot... So I'm keeping this one for you guys.

But Clicky me here! If you want to stay up to date on my "real blog". I'm going to try to actually attempt to write well and write about things that are important to me. I'm going to try to have some sort of purpose there. But this one I'm gonna keep so that I can write and you guys can read and I don't have to worry about writing anything specific. So there.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

a much needed rest

I am taking a much needed miniature vacation. We are driving down to Alabama for 4 days; taking 6 days; gotta add those extra 2 days for driving time. We're packing some extra stuff to take and leave with my mom so that when I move I have a little less stuff to move. Although it's still gonna be a pain in the butt because I've got a lot of furniture.

[I just misspelled furniture and had to spell check it. Where has my education gone!?]

The only downside to all this? I'm fighting a headcold and a cough. It's one of those dry coughs that ends up really hurting after a couple of days. I've been taking some mucinex, it helps a little. And I'm drinking tea like there's no tomorrow. Jonathan convinced me to just drink regular old hot water... I thought it would taste bad. Suprisingly it just tastes like hot water. hmmm.
So I'm hoping that I feel okay enough tomorrow and don't fall asleep at the wheel. It'll be his job to keep me up.

So we're supposed to get more snow tonight! WHAT?! I thought it was over. Seriously. At least I'll be out of town. I hope it's not so bad that driving out tomorrow morning is difficult. I'm just tired of it being so cold. It's not helping me get better; being inside the warm building, going out in the cold, in and out, in and out... and my job is such that I'm always in and out of the car and the house. I'm just trying to stay warm.

This break is coming at such a good time though. Gonna get away from my horrible roommates and see good friends :)

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

A White Valentine's Day?

One of the trees in the complex. The snow was piled up so high! And this is only the 3rd snow of the season! The 2nd snow was even worse. The roads were so bad! I got caught driving in it and I couldn't go straight home because it was for work and I had to take the kids home and they were 20 miles from each other and then 45 miles from my house so I was out in it for a long time and the roads were not cleared or salted at all. But I did a pretty good job driving in it! Being from Montana you'd think that I would be used to snow, but Maryland snow storms are completely different from living in Montana. For one thing Montana is always prepared for the snow. Maryland doesn't really have the man power or all the right equiptment to pull off constant cleaning. It took 4 days to really get the roads driveable.

This is our back porch, I don't have a picture but that giant icicle keeps going down to the next apartment below us. You can kindof see the cars below, like I said, this is from the 3rd snow. The storm before this one completely covered the cars. You couldn't even see where one stopped and the other began! I'm not even kidding. There are still giant mounds of snow everywhere.


This is a picture from the third snow of the year. I have some pics on my phone from the 2nd snow; the one that was the big one. My car was completely covered and piled up to the back window and it was at least 5-6 feet deep behind the car that we had to dig out. It was rough! We had to borrow shovels. Luckily people were nicer than they were during the first snow.


This is the walkway from the apartment to the parking lot. Luckily someone made a path; you can see how deep the snow is.
__________________________________________________________________
*update* 2/18/10
ohmygoodness! That giant icicle that is pictured above is getting bigger and bigger! I think it's because it's melting from above and keeps freezing again at night. It's crazy! I'm afraid it's gonna take down the the whole balcony! I've gotta get a picture of that today!

Pork Chops with Blueberry Sauce

PorkChops with Blueberry Sauce & Mashed Sweet Potatoes



I like the Cuisine at Home cookbooks. They have pretty pictures and directions that really explain HOW to make the dish and why. And every time I cook using one of their recipes, I love it! Plus the ingredients are easy to find. I do love Rachel Ray, but she seems to always have weird ingredients that are hard to find and I don't really have the time to go hunting.


This recipe is from their Weeknight Menus cookbook.


I suppose you could probably do it with chicken or even beef, but the flavor of pork really seems to go well with the blueberry sauce. And I should probably add this... if you're not a "sweet meat" kind of person this probably isn't the dish for you.



saute the meat in 2 tablespoons olive oil

4 boneless porkchops (cut in half for smaller portion)

I sprinkled the chops with some garlic sauce and some dried seasonings while cooking. It doesn't really matter what, just something to give it some flavor.


Once the chops are cooked remove from the pan and place in a covered plate to keep warm.


In the same pan that you cooked the chops, Saute 1-2 tablespoons minced shallots.




Deglaze the pan with redwine: 1/4 cup dry red wine
simmer the red wine until it is nearly evaporated. (about 2 minutes)


stir in following ingredients:
1/2 cup beef broth
1 tablespoon balsamic vinegar
1 tablespoon brown sugar
1 cup fresh or frozen blueberries
bring to a boil & then simmer until blueberries begin to burst.
They will burst and thicken. Just keep stiring until it makes a nice thick sauce.



Remove from heat & stir in 1 tablespoon butter, season with salt & pepper



Those are mashed sweet potatoes in the background... all you do is peel 2-3 large sweet potatoes and chop them up. Then boil them in salted water until you can mash them like regular potatoes.


Add 3 tablespoons butter and the just of one lemon, then add salt and pepper to taste.


Easy Peasy!





To serve your meal altogether...


spoon a mound of the sweet potatoes on the plate, top with pork chops and then spoon the sauce over the whole thing. The sauce really brings it all together. Then garnish with parsley and lemons.

Monday, February 15, 2010

I need a laptop!

I've decided that I need a laptop. I never really needed one before but it seems to have become a nececity. With the work that I do sometimes I end up sitting around and if I had a laptop + internet I could really get some stuff done. So if anybody knows of some good deals let me know.

I guess I just felt like adding something today. I took pictures of what I cooked yesterday (valentines day) Pork chops with blueberry sauce and mashed sweet potatoes. It was quite tastey, if you're okay with "sweet meat" as my brother likes to call it :) I believe the technical term is sweet and savory. And it was quite yummy. I'll post it soon; but don't try it if you're not into sweet meat :) ... the sweet potatoes are good though, and easy peasy.

I am excited about making a trip down to Alabama in 2 weeks. It has been a long time since I've been back. It will be nice to see family and those special people and just to be back in that familiar territory. And to see all the weiners!!! I'm such a sucker for a sloppy dog face.

Okay, I supposed I have to actually get some work done. dundundunnnnn...

I will also post pics of our Maryland snow too. It's quite exciting.

Friday, February 12, 2010

asking for serenity...

Someone told me that I need to change the seashells... I suppose she's right. They don't really seem that appropriate right now with all the snow we've been getting. I've had to dig my car out of the show 3 times! There is no covered parking in Maryland, everything is open. I suppose they're doing a pretty good job with the roads around here but it just never seems good enough. I heard it's supposed to snow again on Monday but I'm not sure how bad it's gonna be. The worst part about all the snow? Living in an apartment complex. There is limited parking, and it's so frustrating when you dig your car out, go to work and then when you get home you find that someone stole your hard-earned parking spot. People have resorted to putting chairs in their spots. Everyone seems to be respecting it. We found a car seat in the trash and have been using that for my spot. That way there's no chance of anyone stealing my nice pink $6 fold out chair from Target :)

My roommates continue to challenge me. We resorted to changing the lock on the door so that it requires a key. Of course this threw my roommates into a laughting tizzyfit. They like to holler out cames at me when I walk by their bedroom. It's very mature. I've also resorted to putting my dishes, bowls, cups & some silverware in my room because I got tired of washing the dishes and putting them away and then having to wash them again because someone used them and there weren't any clean ones left. Ugh. Serious Ugh. I am truely learning patience and surprisingly enough how to talk back to nasty people. The art of communication doesn't so much work when you live with animals who don't speak your language. ... Oh I just remembered, the girl who doesn't live there (who's boyfriend lives there and she lives there but does not assume any responsibility for any part of the house, cleaning or otherwise...) has decided that she wants to get a puppy! YAAAY!!! Boy am I excited.

I keep reminding myself that this is only temporary and it was a nececity and I will get through this and will be better for it, but boy it's frustrating. I didn't know that people could really live like that and be so cruel. I guess you learn things all the time. With age does not always come maturity or a better more adult life.

God grant me this serenity to accpet the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

new

I've been thinking about doing a blog... myspace and facebook just don't cut it. They're too, socialized? too many people that I'm "friends" with that I'm not really friends with. A lot of judgements and I can't write whatever I feel like writing. Sometimes I feel like I have to sensor myself. Although I feel like that whenever I write publicly of course. The only place I can really be uncensored is my personal handwritten journal. But I'd like to chronicle my goings on for all you family people in my life because I'm kind of a rambler at the moment. I rambled from Montana to Alabama to California to Maryland and it looks like I'll be rambling back to Alabama after all. I always said I couldn't go back there to live but it seems like the best option for me at the present time. My life is kind of unglued and I've got to work on getting the pieces to fit back together and I can't do that here in Maryland. I need to be somewhere with family, my own personalized support network; Even if some of them are extended, it's nice to have that connection where you know they can't go anywhere... muahaha :) They're stuck with me.

I thought I had a good support system here in Maryland. I moved in with them, but as it turns out they are quite the opposite of supportive. They are destructive and cruel and intentionally so. So I cannot continue here; not only for the fact that I can't live with these people, but that I can't really save any money and pay the rent that I'm paying. I'm back to worrying about myself and I've got to worry about myself and sort all this stuff out. It's all kindof scary figuring things out on my own but I suppose other people have done it, I can do it too. :)