Thursday, June 17, 2010

big sigh...

I have not been very active on here lately, but I have been very active in my regular life (like this is something extra, not part of my regular life or something). WHAT-EV!

I'm so crazy busy right now. I feel like this is temporary but exactly HOW temporary I'm not quite sure. I feel as if I am always in this state of "what now". Like I am always moving and can never quite get established in anything. All my jobs are like 6-8 months and then I move. Target was the longest job I've had to date (not counting WTBF that I had in high school/college for 3.5 years)... but Target sucked. Okay, part of it was okay, it wasn't a horrid job; infact I actually liked what I did as a GSA, but it wasn't very fulfilling and it was very stressful. I'm still stressed but it's a different kind and I don't hate going to work everyday. I don't have to pump myself up with a Monster in order to get ready. I can relax, chill, write a letter to my relative or friend or read a magazine or even come to the library and blog! :)

But the job I have now is still not a career. It doesn't pay very well and I still have to answer to someone who doesn't seem to be keeping up with the times. I still feel like I'm doing more than everybody else and that it doesn't matter because the managers just expects the ordinary. I have co-workers that outrightly disrespect the managers and they're still working here. Probably because they need the people and don't have a good enough reason to fire him.

When I "complained" to my supervisor about how I was frustrated with the other counselors not doing their part she told me "ciara, you know you go out of your way and do extra right?" ... I thought I was just doing my job.

So basically this is just me whining.

I've been listening to Seth Godin's "Small is the New Big" on playaway. (by the way, these playaways are great, even though the quality is a little bit lacking. I highly recommend them).

When I started Seth's book I was a little wary. I wasn't sure what it would do for me. It's supposed to light a fire under you to get going on that idea you've been working on. At first I was skeptical but I gotta tell you, I've been listening to it and it's been really great. It's chapters are short (some only a paragraph) but they each offer something. The really great part about it is that it's incredibly creative. He takes ideas like catching a plane and turns it into something else; something that YOU coud possibly use for your next big idea.

Maybe you don't have a big idea, or a business idea... regardless, there are some great ideas in this book that will make you think.

I've been listening to some great books lately and I keep coming back to the idea that I need to own my own business. Working for someone else is great because you don't have to do all the thinking it takes to run a business. You don't have to take responsibility. So I think I will always be working for someone else, but in short spurts. Eventually I would like to run my own calligraphy business and work for other people on the side.

But right now I'm just kindof stuck trying to figure out if I want to move or not.

So that's my rant. Am I always ranting about something? I hope soon I will have some great news. In fact, the fact that this idea is festering inside my head right now is good news. I've been practicing calligraphy and my brain is just always on the prowl for new possibilities. So that in itself is a good thing.

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