new

I've been thinking about doing a blog... myspace and facebook just don't cut it. They're too, socialized? too many people that I'm "friends" with that I'm not really friends with. A lot of judgements and I can't write whatever I feel like writing. Sometimes I feel like I have to sensor myself. Although I feel like that whenever I write publicly of course. The only place I can really be uncensored is my personal handwritten journal. But I'd like to chronicle my goings on for all you family people in my life because I'm kind of a rambler at the moment. I rambled from Montana to Alabama to California to Maryland and it looks like I'll be rambling back to Alabama after all. I always said I couldn't go back there to live but it seems like the best option for me at the present time. My life is kind of unglued and I've got to work on getting the pieces to fit back together and I can't do that here in Maryland. I need to be somewhere with family, my own personalized support network; Even if some of them are extended, it's nice to have that connection where you know they can't go anywhere... muahaha :) They're stuck with me.

I thought I had a good support system here in Maryland. I moved in with them, but as it turns out they are quite the opposite of supportive. They are destructive and cruel and intentionally so. So I cannot continue here; not only for the fact that I can't live with these people, but that I can't really save any money and pay the rent that I'm paying. I'm back to worrying about myself and I've got to worry about myself and sort all this stuff out. It's all kindof scary figuring things out on my own but I suppose other people have done it, I can do it too. :)